Who left the Hell Gate Open!!!

Who left the gate of hell open in Abuja biko? Who did we offend?

The weather in Abuja is terribly hot I cannot even explain the hotness. It is as if the air is not circulating anymore…. No that is too easy, it feels like they opened the gate of hell by mistake and put the whole Abuja in a nylon bag and sealed it then dumped it near the gate....As in, tufiakwa!

Then the AEDC also forgot that we are human beings so they have been switching the light on and off like we are jokers. What is happening here? For the past three weeks or more I have not been able to sleep well. But last nights own made me to cry like a baby. I had my bath 6 times in the middle of the night as if I was doing midnight rituals!. At some point I would pour water on the bed and lay on it, next minute the body is dried and the miserable heat returns or I would just bath with my clothes on me... Aye mi the mi ba mi....

I tried to force myself to sleep and then I am woken up by dreams I cannot understand o. I started trying to imagine myself in one Iceland chilling with coconut water but then the mosquito singing in my head brings me back to reality of this hot weather, then I slap myself hard thinking I want to kill the mosquitoes!. They mosquitoes must be laughing at me while feasting on me, at least they are chilling!.

To make the matter worse, when coming back from work, the hotness of the breeze blowing will not allow you to understand what the radio is saying, to the extent that my fresh yellow looking colleague Winifred is now red and has natural blush. Ah ah, I now take my cream to the office to rob it directly under the AC biko, to avoid looking like burnt offering. 

Coupled with that, the Abuja Bike guys nko? My dear they have been punishing us for a crime we have no idea we committed. The smell oozing out from their mouth, armpit, bum bum, and cloth will make you question if God in heaven that did not give them sense to discern between body odor and perfume. One experience I had on my way back from work, I had to forcefully bring out my perfume from my bag to spray the guy from behind! I am sure he would think he is smelling nice through a miracle of Allah. Lmao....

Do not even attempt to cross Gwagwalada in Abuja, that is where the hell fire is concentrated oh. You would swear for the ancestors. Ayam tayad o, as in very tired!

Please who has fairly used hotel room in Transcorp Hilton that they are not using again? Just pay the bills lemme be sleeping inside the AC  biko.

Please God tell the angel blocking the part of the fan blowing Nigeria to shift, we need air, before me collapse.

Thanks Sir, God bless you. But ya God o, so bless yourself Sir.

Ndewo nu and Happy Roasting Season.